France’s new president Emmanuel Macron, on Saturday, suggested that one of the greatest challenges facing Africa is too many Africans. “In some countries seven or eight children are born to each woman.” On Tuesday, news anchors, politicians, celebrities, do-gooder nonprofits, and the expected chorus of Twitterfolk joined in the chorus to raise awareness of the great problem of too many people.
It set me thinking about which person or quote I could post online that would best “troll” (as the kids have it) our ruling class of congenial eugenicists. Perhaps a quote or two from Chesterton, who called barbarism on all this polite nonsense a good decade before the Nazis made the topic of population control… ah unpopular (though clearly the Holocaust did little to persuade the West to abandon eugenic opinions or even cease their eugenic programs.) But Chesterton, as a dead white male, is not a present challenge to the World Population Day crowd. I thought this image of a nonplussed Cardinal Sarah might do. An African in a cassock, especially someone as eloquent as Sarah, no doubt strikes fear into the hearts of Western liberals everywhere. But while Sarah is a first rate churchman, his Roman Catholicism requires that he remain celibate, so he poses no genetic threat to our modern eugenic overlords.
I think I’ve found the perfect candidate. His Grace the Bishop of Jos and former Archbishop of Nigeria, the Most Reverend Dr. Benjamin Kwashi. Now here is an African in a collar who holds to all of the least hygienic opinions on sex and practices them! After all, Anglican tradition permits clergy to marry. He and his wife Gloria (“Mama Gloria” to her admirers) have consummated their union to the tune of no less than six children–that is one below Macron’s doomsday scenario of “seven or eight” but still disconcertingly close. Not only that, but one of their sons has followed in his father’s footsteps and become a priest. Heavens above, how can our planet sustain priests begetting more priests? It’s enough to break a Malthusian’s brain. But there’s more.
If the breathless projections are to be believed Nigeria is soon to become the third most populous country in the world and His Grace and Mama Gloria are doing nothing to stop it. In fact, they seem to have encouraged this population explosion by taking some fifty-four orphans into their own home. Instead of taking the more ecologically responsible path of letting the needy die off, they had the audacity to feed and clothe them. What’s more, Mama Gloria was the one who chose to balloon their family. Reportedly, she could not help but see the little beggars as God’s precious creations and suffering souls in need rather than units of consumption spreading their dirty little carbon footprints all over the marketplace, proving that African women still have yet to internalize the most basic tenets of late modern Western education. Worse, Gloria is an eloquent preacher herself, and she has used the platform given to her by the Church to suggest to women all over our overpopulated globe that decreasing one’s own quality of life to support more than two and a half children could be a personally and spiritually fulfilling habit of life.
Besides all this, His Grace supports all sorts of problematic opinions against same-sex marriage, Islamic fundamentalism (and his real experiences of persecution by Boko Haram suggest he is unlikely to change his mind) and is a staunch supporter of the global realignment of the Anglican Communion away from England and toward the hordes of overpopulated countries of the Global South–he was recently seen supporting the consecration of a missionary bishop to Scotland against the wishes of the Archbishop of Canterbury.
If World Population Day could find a more traditionally Christian, biologically fertile, rhetorically eloquent, and ecologically mischievous pair of villains than this couple, I would like to know who they are that I may lay my tweets at their feet.